I think I mentioned before that my endocrinologist told me that I may have to just accept that I will be chronically fatigued. I didn’t want to accept that and still don’t. It sort of sucks to know that no matter what you do, you’re going to be tired. You’re going to wake up still tired. It’s exhausting to know that.
I met someone yesterday who recommended nutrition function/response testing. There’s nowhere to do it here, so it’ll have to wait until I’m in the US. She highly recommended it, saying it made a HUGE difference for her in how she felt, how much she weighed. She’s a competitive bodybuilder though, so we are working from a different baseline. She did say that her mom, who has RA, found tremendous relief. It’s woo-woo, but I’m going to give it a try when I’m in Florida.
Anyway, this week has totally kicked my ass. I needed to be at the doctor on Sunday by 9. I was late, but that was okay because they didn’t have me in the system (they put me in for this coming Sunday instead), and the doctor wasn’t even there. I had book club that morning so I went back at 1:30pm to see the shrink and get my crazy meds. I think I got home around 3pm.
Nothing on Monday, but I think I started cleaning because I knew I wanted to move furniture. Tuesday was a board meeting that started at 10am and I got home around 1:30 or 2. Then I did move furniture around. I put a tabletop on my bad foot. It still hurts, but not as much as it would if I actually had feeling in most of my foot.
Wednesday was a delicious lunch at The Melting Pot and then back home around 3. I watched The Looming Tower with Mr. Lyndsy and then stayed up to finish cleaning up the second bedroom because we had someone coming to clean today. Between that and the addictive phone games I play, I was up super late and had to be up way early for me so I could let the AC repair people in. I have to say, when you live in the hot ass desert, the AC repair guys are the most valuable people you will ever find. Of course, one of their fixes didn’t work and the living room AC isn’t actually blowing cool air. They’ll be back. (We also need someone to come fix the hot water heater in the kitchen since it’s leaking from a place I can’t find, there’s a leak in the sink in the kitchen, and there’s a leak of unknown origin in the bathroom. It’s not good.)
This morning I needed to be at the mall in case new people came to join our group. Usually a couple other people come and hang out, but I was there by myself today, which was actually okay because I was tired as fuck and had things to work out in my brain, to-do lists to create, and I love people watching. It’s creepy when you’re with people and you’re people watching other people, unless your companions are also creepy people watchers.
But now, now I’m tired. I need a nap. The thought of doing anything productive is basically just causing me to seize up. I have made more progress on my newest cross stitch, I’ve read more of The Zookeeper’s Wife, and I’m making more progress in listening to East of Eden. What I have come to realize is that I am not a fan of John Steinbeck books. I cannot get into them. I started East of Eden reading, and I knew there was no way I was going to be able to get all the way through it if I had to read it all myself. So I borrowed the audiobook from the library and now have it on 1.75x speed. For about 14 hours I had to keep it on regular speed because I couldn’t follow the voice. Now that I’m more used to it I’ve cranked it up. I only have like 11 hours to go. (HOW DOES ANYONE WRITE A 26 HOUR BOOK??)
I can’t imagine what my life would be like if I were trying to work a traditional 9-5 office job. Between being at work and traveling to work, I think I’d be dead every day I got home. My body’s just like, ‘WHOA! Hey now! Let’s not overdo this.”
I did move our “dining room table” into the bedroom and have created a desk nook so that maybe sometime soon, I can try to work “normally.” I expect it’s going to be painful and exhausting, but I want to try.
Really, probably not.