Unexplained Illness

I took a trip to the ER Sunday night. I spent 6 hours there and learned that I do not have appendicitis. Yes, that’s good news, but maybe we could tell me what IS wrong with me?

It started Saturday night with a dream. In the dream, a woman came up to me, squeezed my right side and said something like, “Oh got some pain there?” Until she squeezed me, I had no idea there was a problem. Then, later in the dream, another woman came up to me, squeezed my side and said, “It’s serious. You should get it checked out.”

When I woke up on SundayI remembered the dream, but didn’t think it made any sense since my side wasn’t bothering me. I poked myself, sure that the women were just crazy. Nope, turns out I was the crazy one. Palpating my side definitely produced some pain. I diligently examined myself to discover that was true all the way around to my belly button. I had crap to do on Sunday, so I let it go.

As the day progressed the pain got worse. I didn’t have to push as hard to elicit pain. By the end of the day, it just hurt without me having to do anything. Around 11pm, Mr. Lyndsy asked if I wanted to go get it checked out. We tried to find a clinic that was still open, but since none were, we headed to the ER.

The doctor managed to elicit a lot of pain when he pressed down and since that wasn’t enough to tell him anything, he ordered blood work. It came back normal, but that wouldn’t necessarily rule out appendicitis, so he also ordered a CT scan. Also clean. Since I clearly wasn’t in any immediate danger, they discharged me with Zantac and Tylenol.

I haven’t yet taken the Zantac because I’m a terrible patient. I do still have the pain as well. Dr. Google has failed to yield any useful answers.

Perhaps I’ll have another dream and the pokey, prodding women can tell me what’s actually wrong. Not sure how I’ll explain that to a medical professional, but that’s okay. I’m sure they’ve heard stranger stories.