The real harm of fat shaming

I’m fat. I’ve been fat for years. I’ve had occasional dips back into non-fat land, but I’ve always bounced back up.

Every day, all day, we get hit with messages about what being fat means. How we’re just not trying hard enough. If only we would… whatever. Thin people throwing out judgments about how easy it was for them to get in shape, even though they have 75 kids, and work a regular 9 to 5 job, and save walruses from shark attacks in their free time.

I’m thrilled for people who find ways to make it work. Super happy for them. But I’m not them. My body is mine. I have different circumstances. My body is doing different things, in a different environment, and responds to things differently. Except in one regard.

All bodies respond to energy. We’re all just energy. People forget this, but they shouldn’t. Because it matters.

When someone judges my body because I’m not doing what they think I should be to get into better shape, my body feels that negative energy. Judgment is NEGATIVE energy. And even if we think we’re directing that judgment at only one person, we aren’t. The energy is out there, affecting everyone.

I think of it like throwing glitter at someone. Glitter, the herpes of the art world. It has a mind of its own. You aim at one person, but that shit is everywhere before you know what happened. A random passerby is going to find glitter in their hair later. You try to clean it up, but there is ALWAYS some left behind. You can’t control it. Once you release it, it’s gone.

Judgment works the same way.

Our bodies’ default status is to get better, to find its optimum point. Being bombarded by negative energy affects that process. The body has to address the negative energy before it can go back to doing its job. Can you imagine how annoying that would be? You’re sitting at your desk job, trying to write a memo. Your door opens, and your boss screams at you. You have to deal with him before you can get back to your memo. You have to emotionally process being screamed at. Then your phone rings. It’s your spouse, calling to yell at you because you forgot to pay a bill. You have to calm them down and get online to pay the bill. Then you can get back to work. Then, your assistant pops in to tell you that you forgot to respond to an important email and that you’re now in deep shit. You scramble to find the email and reply. By the end of the day, your memo still isn’t written. You’re upset and frustrated. And that makes sense.

If, instead of yelling at you all day, people in your life had been kind and given you time to do your job, if your spouse had just taken care of the bill or waited until an appropriate time, your boss had calmed down and addressed you professionally, you would have felt better at the end of the day and your memo would have been done.

In real life, this means that what we need to be doing, instead of focusing on how to change our bodies to fit some “norm” that has nothing to do with normal, we need to focus on loving our bodies. We need to send loving energy to everyone we meet, specifically to their bodies so that the bodies get the extra energy to help combat the nasty that’s been thrown at them as well as do the job the body needs to do.

Energy is serious business. We can’t play around with it. The energy we send out affects others, but it also affects us. It impairs our own body’s ability to find its happy place. Do you really want to walk around with a body that’s actively working against itself? Then think about the energy you’re sending out in the world.

If you’re fit and want to help, be loving to others, regardless of their size. Appreciate how much everyone’s body is doing at any given time. When someone wants your help, they’ll find you because your energy will resonate with theirs. Their results will also be a lot more amazing when the relationship is based on loving energy.