Not feeling the holiday spirit

It could be because I live in a Muslim country and there aren’t really any decorations up (though some of the stores sell them). It could be because we’re moving this weekend and trying to get organized for that is just exhausting.

Whatever the reason, I am NOT feeling the holiday spirit. I’m mostly crabby. Mr. Lyndsy isn’t really into commercialized holidays so there won’t be a gift exchange. He was shocked when my mom and I did it last year. (How he thought we’d have a tree up and no gifts underneath it is beyond me.)

I think the only reason I even notice that I’m not in the holiday spirit is because everyone is posting about how they’re getting ready or how they’re also not feeling the holiday spirit this year either.

I am generally sort of overwhelmed by the negativity that’s everywhere. We definitely should be talking about how Donald Trump is a racist, xenophobic piece of trash, how Ted Cruz is batshit insane, how there’s obviously some kind of problem in the US or people wouldn’t be shooting each other all the damn time, and it would be very nice if cops could stop shooting people while they’re unarmed or not a threat to the officer. All of that stuff matters. It’s just really intense right now. It’s hard to feel festive when shit is this out of control.

Maybe it’s all working toward some kind of breaking point where there will be massive change. When we’ll finally get our heads out of our collective asses and start working together to help each other. Maybe that’ll be the Christmas gift for everyone this year. I doubt it, but a girl can hope.

Gifts that shouldn’t make anyone’s holiday wish list…

Since it’s the season for gift giving, I just want to throw some things out there that no one should be buying. Under any circumstances.

1. Haribo Sugar-free Gummy Bears

Sugar Free Gummies

These will ruin your stomach if you eat more than five. And everyone eats more than five, because they’re tiny and delicious. I’m not sure what’s in them that causes such digestive issues, but take it from me and my personal experience. You don’t want to eat these. Unless you’re constipated and desperate to change that.

2. Taxidermy Pikachu Mouse

Taxidermied Pikachu

I appreciate being Pikachu’s fan. But I think this takes things a bit too far…

3. Taxidermy Meerkat

Meerkat Meerkat 2

I think this is actually going to give me nightmares.

 

4. Make Your Own Vagina Mold

Mold Vagina

Uh, right. I haven’t figured out why this exists yet. I also can’t believe it would work all that well or that it could be all that safe.

5. Edible Chocolate Anus (The Anus that Made Britain Great)

edible-anus

(Image)

I don’t think I’ll ever look at chocolate the same way again. Also, was there a model for this anus? If so, who was it? I’m not sure that would change my opinion on whether it should exist, but they’re fair questions.

What have you seen that you wouldn’t give anyone, ever?