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Jar of Good Choices

A friend of mine recently posted on Facebook about how much she was enjoying her daughter’s imaginative play. Her daughter had selected a doctor doll as her prize after filling a container with marbles because she made good choices.

This got me thinking. *I* could use a jar of good choices. I may not be a kid anymore, but being an adult doesn’t mean I make good choices. My high blood sugar readings, stomachaches, and dwindling bank account certainly suggest that I often make poor choices.

So I decided to make myself a Jar of Good Choices. The added bonus was that I finally used the Silhouette Portrait my mom got me for Christmas… in 2014.

Jar of Good Choices

For me, good choices will revolve around things like choosing to cook instead of ordering fast food for delivery (it’s the worst thing ever that I can do that here), selecting water to drink instead of soda, delaying buying things that I don’t really need but just want to make sure I do actually want them, going for walks, etc.

I need to find marbles or something I can put in the jar and determine what my reward plan will be. I know that there’s a video game I want that’s kind of expensive (LEGO Dimensions), books that I don’t want to buy but want to read, more Jamberry wraps.

I’m not sure whether I should feel ridiculous about doing this, but whatever. I think the assumptions about what adults should be like are ridiculous. The fact that most video game systems are built around achievements or trophies tells us that adults still like to get rewards for shit they do. This isn’t that different.

I now have my jar. Now to find the first marble to put in. You know, for making the jar in the first place…

Or how about some personal responsibility?

Was scrolling through my Facebook feed when I saw this:

Dear restaurants of Doha💜💜💜,

Please stop us serving free bread before the meal. It’s delicious and very generous of you. But hard to resist and impossible to stick to a no-bread lifestyle for damsels in distress. Just to let you know they don’t do this in many other countries. Thank you for understanding.

Best regards,
A loyal customer

Saying no isn’t always easy. I’m fat. I get it. While some of my weight may be attributable to health issues, some of it is simply because I do not say no when certain foods are put in my face – Peanut Butter M&Ms are a good example. I also love bread.

However, if I don’t want to eat something, I *can* say no. I can ask them not to bring it. When a server goes to put it on the table, I can refuse it. I do it all the time with the sauces they serve at PF Chang’s. It’s not fucking rocket science. If you can say no before it ever gets to the table, life gets a lot easier.

Learning to say “no” has some great benefits. Instead of being a victim to what may be come at us, we take control over it. We take control over what goes into our bodies. We take control over our personal space. We take control over our time.

I absolutely abhor the lack of personal responsibility we seem to be demonstrating these days. It is not up to any restaurant to figure out what we should or shouldn’t eat. It’s not up to any business to sell products that are healthy for us. They’re simply meeting a demand. That’s their business. It is up to US to say that we don’t want something. We have the power when we refuse to buy their products.

If you don’t want bread, JUST FUCKING SAY NO.

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30-Day Project: August Wrap-up/September Plan

30-day Project

I won’t waste words on August – it’s been almost a complete failure. Some of it was the traveling, some of it was illness. Regardless of the reason, I failed. I’m upset with myself because journeying is something I do need to do every day for my health and well-being. Even though I won’t be making it a goal for September, I do intend to be better going forward. I think I need to figure out a new mechanism for accountability. Onto September!

September, in my head, was going to be about cooking and baking and sharing pictures. The goal was to try to eat a little better by doing more cooking, but i also realized that there is no way I was going to cook every day of September.

So then it turned into No Soda September. Given that there are really no health benefits to drinking soda and really only downsides, it’s a great goal. I’d stopped drinking it much, but once I was cooped up in bed after surgery, I started up again.

Then today I had an episode with frozen yogurt. I am lactose-intolerant and I have known this for years. Once I figured it out, I switched to lactose-free milk and things were fine. Then yogurt became an enemy. Then eating cheese on its own. Today, fro yo betrayed me.

To avoid destroying any more of my underwear, I need to make some changes. Really, it’s about more than my underwear. I have not been respecting my body. It’s been sending me signals of “Please don’t do that to me anymore” and I’ve ignored them. My body deserves better than that. I deserve better than that. In some ways, it’s the same as getting out of an abusive relationship.

That thought hadn’t occurred to me until right now, but now that I’m thinking about it, that makes a lot of sense. If another person were doing to me what I’m doing to my body, I would kick them out of my life. So that’s what I have to do.

Because I get overwhelmed with thinking about doing much of anything for long stretches of time (except being married to Mr. Lyndsy), I’m thinking about this as a 30-Day Project. For the month of September I will not be drinking any soda, I will not be eating any fast food, I will minimize my dairy intake, I will consume more water, I will cut back on my juice consumption, I will eat at least one fruit and one vegetable per day (actual fruits and veg, not shit like NutriGrain bars with fruit in them).

Mr. Lyndsy has graciously agreed to join in for parts of this. His addiction isn’t soda, but coffee. It would be one thing if he drank it black but he says that tastes disgusting. Instead he drinks about an eighth of a cup of coffee, the remainder is milk and sugar. He doesn’t tend to eat fast food too often, but he’s going to join me in avoiding it too. I’m pretty sure I’m going to need the support so I am so thankful he’s doing it with me.

I have avoided doing this for a long time, but I’m not entirely sure why. When I was initially diagnosed with Type 2 diabetes, I changed my diet quite a bit. But, because I was on meds and they really controlled my sugar I slid back into my old eating patterns. But now I’m getting pissed about the drug industry and promoting pills as the end all be all. Not to mention that I just don’t feel all that well. I’m tired most of the time. I still have brain fog. I have a feeling a big diet change may help. The problem is that I’m going to have to go beyond the 30 days to really feel the effects. I’m hoping that I’ll be feeling some of the benefits within the 30 days so continuing on isn’t an issue.

I didn’t mention candy in that list because I do believe that SOME here and there isn’t that big a deal. My body has been helping this along – lately the candy I used to love just hasn’t tasted as good to me. I guess I’m still attached to how much I used to enjoy it, since I’ve still been eating it. Though I do wonder why after I do it.

As the month goes on, if I figure out that something is bothering my stomach still, I’m going to eliminate it. I’m tired of feeling like crap.

This won’t be easy for me. But, I’ve gotten myself out of an abusive relationship before. I can do it again, though I’ve upped the difficulty level a bit.

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30-Day Project: May Wrap-Up/June Project

30-day Project

It’s not quite the end of May yet, and I will certainly finish out what I decided to, but I figure not much will change between now and then.

I started out the month tracking in the Weight Watchers app, but that got really stressful. I switched to just writing down what I eat in a notebook. It still serves the purpose of making me aware of what I’m eating, which is what I was hoping for. I trailed off in my water consumption toward the end of the month, and I can definitely feel the changes in my body so I am definitely going to go back to drinking more water.

Overall, I think this was pretty successful.

For June… I’m going to be pretty laid up most of the month, so it can’t be anything that requires physical activity. I’ve been meaning to blog more and get into a better habit of writing, so that’s my June 30-Day Project – a little something in the blog every day. It may not last like that after June, but I think it should help me get into a better routine with it. It’s also good because I want to document the surgery and my recovery.

Thanks for reading 🙂