The real harm of fat shaming

I’m fat. I’ve been fat for years. I’ve had occasional dips back into non-fat land, but I’ve always bounced back up.

Every day, all day, we get hit with messages about what being fat means. How we’re just not trying hard enough. If only we would… whatever. Thin people throwing out judgments about how easy it was for them to get in shape, even though they have 75 kids, and work a regular 9 to 5 job, and save walruses from shark attacks in their free time.

I’m thrilled for people who find ways to make it work. Super happy for them. But I’m not them. My body is mine. I have different circumstances. My body is doing different things, in a different environment, and responds to things differently. Except in one regard.

All bodies respond to energy. We’re all just energy. People forget this, but they shouldn’t. Because it matters.

When someone judges my body because I’m not doing what they think I should be to get into better shape, my body feels that negative energy. Judgment is NEGATIVE energy. And even if we think we’re directing that judgment at only one person, we aren’t. The energy is out there, affecting everyone.

I think of it like throwing glitter at someone. Glitter, the herpes of the art world. It has a mind of its own. You aim at one person, but that shit is everywhere before you know what happened. A random passerby is going to find glitter in their hair later. You try to clean it up, but there is ALWAYS some left behind. You can’t control it. Once you release it, it’s gone.

Judgment works the same way.

Our bodies’ default status is to get better, to find its optimum point. Being bombarded by negative energy affects that process. The body has to address the negative energy before it can go back to doing its job. Can you imagine how annoying that would be? You’re sitting at your desk job, trying to write a memo. Your door opens, and your boss screams at you. You have to deal with him before you can get back to your memo. You have to emotionally process being screamed at. Then your phone rings. It’s your spouse, calling to yell at you because you forgot to pay a bill. You have to calm them down and get online to pay the bill. Then you can get back to work. Then, your assistant pops in to tell you that you forgot to respond to an important email and that you’re now in deep shit. You scramble to find the email and reply. By the end of the day, your memo still isn’t written. You’re upset and frustrated. And that makes sense.

If, instead of yelling at you all day, people in your life had been kind and given you time to do your job, if your spouse had just taken care of the bill or waited until an appropriate time, your boss had calmed down and addressed you professionally, you would have felt better at the end of the day and your memo would have been done.

In real life, this means that what we need to be doing, instead of focusing on how to change our bodies to fit some “norm” that has nothing to do with normal, we need to focus on loving our bodies. We need to send loving energy to everyone we meet, specifically to their bodies so that the bodies get the extra energy to help combat the nasty that’s been thrown at them as well as do the job the body needs to do.

Energy is serious business. We can’t play around with it. The energy we send out affects others, but it also affects us. It impairs our own body’s ability to find its happy place. Do you really want to walk around with a body that’s actively working against itself? Then think about the energy you’re sending out in the world.

If you’re fit and want to help, be loving to others, regardless of their size. Appreciate how much everyone’s body is doing at any given time. When someone wants your help, they’ll find you because your energy will resonate with theirs. Their results will also be a lot more amazing when the relationship is based on loving energy.

What happened to critical thinking?

I haven’t posted much about the 2016 presidential election. In part because I had to recover from it. It ended up being a really traumatic experience. The US has come a long way since the days where they enslaved other people just because they could, but there’s still a lot of room for growth. Too much, really. The fact that people still get excited about the Confederate Flag is a pretty big indicator.

The election really showed us something important though – critical thinking has left the US. Sure, more people voted against Donald Trump than voted for him. That really didn’t matter though, now did it? He ended up becoming the 45th POTUS.

While I can’t really understand it, I sort of get why someone may have voted for Trump. He pretended like he was an outsider to the scene. (Even though there are millions of pictures of him hobnobbing with politicians.) He SAID he wanted to #draintheswamp. (Though he only knows other people just like him who are familiar with Washington.) He said that they could keep their healthcare and that people with preexisting conditions would be protected. (Though he has no experience with trying to sort out healthcare for himself on any kind of budget.) He made people feel like he understood what it was like to be the little man and that he came from the same place they didn’t. (Obviously not true since he had millions from his father to build his own businesses.)

Alright, I guess I can’t really understand how someone voted for him. But, that’s because I, like many others, engaged in critical thinking when he made his claims. I researched the claims to check their veracity. Of course, some will claim they did as well. There’s a whole world of alt-right media available to prove them right. But, a critical thinker would see that there were MANY (and more) pieces of evidence which suggested that the only thing spewing from Trump’s mouth was bullshit.

Why are we so divorced from critical thinking? There have been a few articles floating around since the election about how people are almost… proud… of their ignorance. While I don’t believe a formal education past high school is necessary, I do think we should all strive to be informed. Being informed is part of being a responsible citizen. Sure, back when the country was founded we elected representatives and let them do some of the researching for us. Now, though, we have all the information we could possibly want at our fingertips. Yes, we have to sort through things to determine for ourselves what may be accurate. It’s a little more work, but the fate of the country is in our hands.

The proliferation of partisan websites has pushed us to this point. I don’t read anything from the Right, but I can see it in the Leftist sites I see popping up on Facebook all the time. They’re articles with clickbait titles, while all the content has been taken in pieces from other, researched articles. OccupyDemocrats is the one I see most often and it occasionally makes my head spin. But, they get floated more often than the original sources. I invested in subscriptions to the New York Times and Vanity Fair because I wanted original journalism getting my attention.

In the past I haven’t cared too much who people voted for, as long as they engaged in critical analysis before casting a ballot. At the time though, it was policy differences that were at stake. I think it’s reasonable for us to discuss things like taxes, educational standards, and economics. It’s easy to disagree about the best path for American. That’s just not where we are now.

The Conservatives of old have been replaced by people who can only think to oppose Liberals. They don’t have a plan, as we saw with the ridiculous healthcare bill. Conservatives complained for years about Obamacare, but hadn’t bothered to research and draft their own plan? Nope! It was just “Down with Obamacare!” In any company they’d be fired for their incompetence. Instead they get reelected because they’ve managed to become experts at telling certain populations exactly what they want to hear. Selling the package of crap in such a way that discourages people from forcing themselves to think about what they’re voting for. Keep America uninformed and win! It’s gross. Disturbing. And I’m worried it’s going to end this grand experiment with democracy.

If the Marmalade Mussolini has his way, we’ll be a dictatorship before too long.

Stay vigilant, friends. Stay vigilant.

Spoonie Life Complications #1

*If you don’t know what I mean by “spoonie” read this.**

I labeled this post #1 since I am quite certain that there will be many more in the future. The one currently affecting my life is this: Spoonies do not have the luxury of not planning things.

I know there are many people out there who like to plan. But, for spoonies, planning isn’t a luxury. It’s a necessity.

Mr. Lyndsy and I are planning to move back to the United States as he’s decided to take a friend up on a longstanding job offer. For some, it’s just a simple matter of picking a place to live and going from there.

Unfortunately, I need to know whether the job comes with insurance. Given how crappy healthcare is in the US, I have to make a somewhat concrete plan. I cannot afford to live with crappy or no insurance. ONE of the medications I take for diabetes costs $350 without insurance. (Where I am now it’s covered by insurance, but even if it weren’t, it’s about $9 per month.) Even with insurance, I have doctor visits every three months, at a minimum. I see a rheumatologist, nephrologist, endocrinologist. I see a psychiatrist either every month or every three months. At $45 each, the cost adds up quickly.

After the spinal fusion I took off work for about two weeks before going back. I believe I’ve mentioned before that I didn’t take off enough time. I worked for two weeks before asking for leave on short-term disability so I could get better. Rather than let me take off the time, they terminated me. Since then I have worked part-time, from home. Given how poorly I feel just doing household activities, I am decidedly unsure whether I can even work a full-time job, which would be a requirement if I have to have the job that comes with health insurance.

Of course, a job with health insurance isn’t enough if my medications aren’t covered or if my co-pays are high. I can’t not go to the doctor. I have serious chronic illnesses. So now, I’m looking at picking a job that not only offers health insurance, but also pays well enough to cover those things. I’ve heard that Starbucks offers insurance coverage to most of its employees, but I’m not sure a barista’s pay is enough to cover my health life.

Okay, great. But that’s not enough. This job I’ll need to have, what do they expect me to be able to do? What’s the sick time like? When can I use it? Is there a minimum amount of time I have to be there to be able to use it? I’ll have the same questions about vacation, in case I burn through my sick time. There are days where I just can’t get out of bed. Is there a probationary period that would be affected by my need for sick time?

These questions don’t go through the minds of people who are generally healthy. They think about vacations they want to take, not wondering if they’ll even get to take any time off for something fun.

I know there are people who look at spoonies like me and think, “It must be nice to be home all day.” To them I say, no, no it is not. Because we have to deal with the feelings of inadequacy that come with not being able to be out, working, earning an income. We feel awful – unable to justify taking money from others and our partners, who have gone to work to earn that money. We don’t feel like we can spend it for us, for fun things.

I was once a person who worked 26 days straight – including weekends, more than a regular 8-hour shift each day. I left for work at 5am and didn’t finish with either work or class until 9pm. I did that for months because I believed in what I was doing and it was necessary. Now I’m a person who has trouble waking up in the morning. Who can’t stand and do dishes for more than 5 or 7 minutes at a time. Whose back hurts while dealing with a single load of laundry. I have trouble remembering what I’m doing AS I’M DOING IT. I forget basic words (yes, the other day I said “machine that washes the dishes” because I couldn’t remember “dishwasher.” It happens to everyone, but it doesn’t happen to everyone all the time, every day). Sitting and working at a computer hurts my back and arms. Breaks don’t always help. Good luck being a lawyer full-time! That’s ALL they do.

I hate that my life has been reduced to trying to figure out how long each day I can work, what I can do if I am to work, and whether I can do it long enough during the year to not exhaust my sick and vacation time. But, this is my life now. The only thing left to do is live it. What people need to do, however, is step outside themselves for a minute to consider what someone else may be going through.

At What Point?

The question on my mind right now is this – At what point do the people who always end up taking on extra stop doing it?

Are you the person at work who always ends up having to do your job and someone else’s because the company downsized or the person who’s supposed to be doing it is just fucking unreliable? Are you the partner at home who ends up doing the bulk of the housework because your spouse is tired or just doesn’t feel like it? Are you the parent who  ends up doing all the kid stuff even though the other parent is also capable?

I’m not talking about situations where these arrangements are agreed upon. Like, at work, they give you a raise for taking on the extra work. Or, you and your partner have decided that one of you will mow the yard and garden while the other manages the inside of the house. Or, you and your spouse work out that it’s best if one of you is largely responsible with keeping the tiny humans alive.

What I am talking about is basically shit rolling downhill. You know it needs to be done, but since no one else is doing it, you do it. Some of us take the approach of “meh, fuck it.” And I totally get that. It’s not your responsibility and your boss should be doing a better job managing the workplace. If you pick up the slack, maybe your boss won’t realize that the person responsible isn’t doing it. Maybe you’ve even said something and nothing changes.

I’m just not wired like that. If I see something that needs to be done, I just do it. Every now and then I have some kind of internal explosion and stop doing it – like when I quit doing Mr. Lyndsy’s laundry because he kept leaving his socks in every conceivable place EXCEPT the hamper… I also may have said to him that I wanted to shove his socks down his throat. There was also the time that I told him if he put another dish in the sink (I’d already been washing dishes for like 20 minutes) that I would kill him. OR the time I gave him the death glare when he suggested I use dish soap with lotion in it after complaining that my hands were scaly and nasty. But I digress.

It’s usually work situations where I end up ready to scream. I’ve learned to try to express my frustration constructively, but when those pleas go without a response, I tend to just do what needs to be done, regardless of whether it’s fair. Someone is depending on a finished product, so it has to be done.

There’s always the option of quitting, unless you need money. Then you’re just sort of buggered. But what kind of damage is this doing to our emotional states? Does this ruin our patience for other pursuits? How much do we end up taking home to our partners? Is this how workplace shooters start? Like Milton in Office Space who eventually sets the building on fire? JUST GIVE HIM THE DAMN STAPLER AND A PAYCHECK!

I don’t think I tend to be unreasonable though I’d wager a lot of unreasonable people say that. I did ask a former boss once if I was really that difficult to work with since I’d had a string of bad employment situations. His response suggested I was losing my mind to even ask. ::shrug::

What do you all do when you’re constantly picking up the slack? Do you just quit eventually? Try passive-aggressiveness until someone figures it out?

My Poor Husband

Anyone who knows me should be chuckling about the title of this post. There are any number of things that could generate a title like that.

The thing that comes out of Mr. Lyndsy’s mouth more often anything anything else is, “Oh Wife.” Usually I get this when I’m telling him about how I’ve just fallen, tripped over my own foot, hit my head on something. You get the idea. Something along the lines of “I’ve fallen and I can’t get up.”


It could be about the fact that I am the definition of a pre-existing condition. I have almost as many diagnoses as I have fingers. If I really wanted to push my doctors I could probably get there. It seems that every time I go to the doctor, I come home with a new diagnosis. We’re both excited because I’m finally getting treated and getting everything sorted out. It’s not exactly a party though.


Perhaps it’s that he’s seen that I’m collecting something else. Lately I’ve been on a kick with Funko Pop! Vinyls. It’s not a new interest. I’ve been holding off buying them for so long. But after the last presidential election (day of), I walked into Walmart and Fear, Disgust, Anger, and Sadness from Inside Out were sitting on the shelves, staring at me. Since they mirrored exactly how I was feeling, I brought them all home. You can’t leave out Joy though! She brings the whole team together. So I ordered her online.


But no. This time I feel bad for my husband because by the time he gets home from work around 6:00 or 6:30 in the evening, I have long been out of my regular adult clothes. I’m back in boxers/shorts and a t-shirt. The bra has been flung somewhere to be found only when I am desperately running late for something.


Every now and then we go out in public and I’m dressed like a responsible-ish adult. But I wouldn’t say that it’s the majority of the times I wear clothes that that happens. I’m sure he wonders some days if I have even gotten out of bed. (Some days I haven’t.)

To be fair to me, his job involves him wearing shorts and a short-sleeved shirt. When we go places after work or on a weekend, it’s shorts and a t-shirt. If he’ll be cold, it’s athletic pants and a t-shirt, with a sweatshirt thrown in jut in case. We rarely do anything that’s “fancy” enough for jeans.

But still, all of that is a step up from boxers and a t-shirt sans bra.

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Day 30 is finally here!

THE END IS HERE! Not like the apocalypse, but the end of my self-imposed water only month. Not going to lie, I’m glad to be over it.

To be fair, drinking only water hasn’t been *that* bad. I saved a ton of money. I don’t think I ever really paid attention to how much I spend getting soda at fast food places. The soda is one of the reasons I go, but I just sort of slide into the pre-set value meals, even if that’s not really what I want to eat. (On a side note, I think I’m over most of the fast food chains. Blech. That food tastes so greasy and nasty.)

My skin is clear, but my skin is usually pretty clear. It had been giving me some issues, but I have no idea whether that was hormonal or related to my beverage consumption. Apparently it’s not food related.

I think I compensated for not having soda with other sweet foods. That may explain why my weight hasn’t gone down. (Actually, it’s gone up…)

I did finally settle into a sort of “water, blah” about it. I am still really excited about having a Wild Cherry Pepsi tomorrow, but I do think this has cured me of my lust for juices. I do want to limit my soda consumption going forward since it is loaded with empty calories. I may even give up my beloved Coca-Cola except in limited circumstances (movies, delicious fountain Coke from places I know to have the perfect mixture) since I don’t really crave it anymore. I do also miss strawberry lemonade.

While I’m not sure this little experiment was worth it, I’m not sad about having done it. This was never about quitting side and all other beverages altogether, but rather a way to see the impact it could have.

Stop telling us what to do

You care, I know you do. I appreciate that you care.

However, you need to find better ways to show how much you care. Telling me what to do, what I should eat, how I should move, etc. is not the best way to show me how much you care.

You think you’re helping. You’re not.

I’ve seen more medical professionals than I care to count. I have had to fight with them to even get diagnoses, to get treatment that would make me feel even a little bit better. I have spent countless hours researching my condition online, consulting with Dr. Google. Looking for alternative treatments, new things to try, talking to people who have fought this battle before me.

Chances are good that you aren’t a doctor or even have any medical training. You know someone who knows someone who has the same thing and some random root from Chile helped them. Or maybe they gave up all sugar and only eat broccoli and avocado now.

I’m glad that worked for some random person I’ll probably never meet. I love hearing when people who struggle like I do get better. No one should have to deal with the things I deal with. Chronic pain. Brain fog. Depression. Anxiety.

But, I need you to respect the fact that I’m on the path I’m on. You telling me over and over to stop eating sugar doesn’t add anything useful to my life. Instead, I feel like you think I don’t know how to take care of myself. Like I haven’t talked to the doctors. Haven’t researched. Haven’t tried to figure out what’s best for me. You don’t know what’s best for me. Stop acting like you do.

You also may be ignoring the fact that I could be going through a rough patch. One where I’m struggling to get up everyday, so we should just be glad I’m eating at all. You’re probably not with me 24/7, so there’s no way for you to know what I put into my body when you aren’t around. Don’t assume that what you see is my whole life.

Because the reality is that there are probably very few people, if any, who really get the full picture. Who see me when I struggle to wake up and get out of bed. Who see how I struggle to walk through a grocery store or how sometimes breathing is painful. Who know how many voices in my head tell me I’m a failure. That I should be doing more with my life than I am. Over and over I hear, “You’re not really sick. Get up. Get moving.”

Until you’ve actually trudged a mile in my shoes, or spent a whole day in bed because the pain is pretty much unbearable, please do not bestow your unwanted advice on me. For some of you, it’s a compulsion. You feel like you *have* to share with me because you know it will help. You won’t feel like you’ve done your part until you do.

Just stop. Ask me how I’m feeling. Ask me how you can help. Tell me something funny to get my mind off of whatever I’m going through.

If you can’t stop, you may soon find your way out of my life. I spend enough energy dealing with shit, I don’t need it from anyone else.

1

Waterlogged

I read this article based on research by a blogger who only drank water for a month. For some people this isn’t a big deal since that’s almost all they drink anyway. I’m not one of those people. I probably average a soda per day, along with a glass of juice per day.

Y’all know my issues (chronic pain from back issues/tendon transfer, diabetes, thyroiditis, IBS, fibromyalgia, insomnia, anxiety, depression, lupus) which cause pain, brain fog, fatigue. At this point, I’m looking for things that will help alleviate any of the symptoms I feel on any given day. This research seems to suggest that consuming only water may help.

I currently weigh 210 pounds (I gained back 20 of the pounds I lost when I switched to the low FODMAP diet to figure out whether I have IBS or IBD) and my forehead is totally broken out. That could be related to my menstrual cycle or it could be diet-related. I don’t think I ever had a breakout this bad in my teens.

So today I start 30 days of drinking only water. I already hate the idea of this. Like HATE it. I dislike depriving myself of anything because it makes me want it more. However, I hate feeling like shit all the time more, so we’ll give it a go. I’m taking the one-day-at-a-time approach. If I fall off the wagon, I fall off the wagon. And then re-start.

If I notice any tremendous difference in a week, I’ll give an update.

Trump is the true enemy of the American people

Donald Trump tweeted yesterday that the “Fake News” is not his enemy, it is the enemy of the American people.

This tweet comes after his disaster of a press conference on Thursday. Trump did what he usually does when asked reasonable and intelligent questions, he talked about himself. His electoral college win (though he was knocked down a peg when a journalist pointed out that he was lying about how great a victory it was). How he’s a good guy. How Russia is “fake news.” (I have yet to figure out what “fake news” is.) How the leaks are real but the news is fake. (A journalist did say, point blank, that that makes no sense. Trump ignored it.) We also got a pretty clear display of casual racism.

And of course, what would a Trump presser be if we didn’t get to hear how horrible the media is? He talked about the tone of hatred that extends from the media to him.

Then, when he’s got a chance to get his tiny fingers back on his phone, he tweets about how the “failing” news media is the enemy of the American people.

I would like to say, for the record, that the media isn’t the enemy of the American people. Freedom of the press and the need for it is as old as our country. When independent journalists do their jobs, the American people get unbiased facts they need to make critical decisions when they enter a ballot booth. Without the press, we wouldn’t have learned the extent of Richard Nixon’s treacherous behavior. In fact, Nixon also declared the press an enemy.

Eliminating freedom of the press is one of the main features of fascism. The goal is to turn it into a tool of the state and use it for propaganda.  We can disagree about many things on how the US is governed, but I think we can all agree that we are not interested in a fascist state. Fascism is the antithesis of American values.

There are those who say that Trump is doing what the people want. His executive orders have come in a flurry. The reality is that those may have little to no meaning in the long run. But it looks great to his core supporters. Outside of his core supporters, there are many across the political spectrum who are willing to give him a chance. They give him tacit support or are opposed, but still willing to take a “wait and see” approach.

I am NOT one of those people.

We don’t have the time and luxury for that. We are already progressing quickly on the path to fascism.

People have outlined the traits of fascist regimes differently, but regardless of how it’s viewed, we’re in trouble.

By Rense
1. Powerful and Continuing Nationalism – “America First” says it all
2. Disdain for the Recognition of Human Rights – Wanting to employ torture, denying religious freedom, eliminating federal funding to so-called “sanctuary cities,” travel ban
3. Identification of Enemies/Scapegoats as a Unifying Cause – ISIS, Muslims, Mexican immigrants as rapists and criminals
4. Supremacy of the Military – He’s repeatedly said we’re going to have the best military, talks about nuclear holocaust, blowing up the Russian spy ship, emphasis on new military spending
5. Rampant Sexism – “You can grab ’em by the pussy,” women needing to dress “like women,” refusal to take on equal pay issues
6. Controlled Mass Media – Calling all news outlets that don’t blindly support him “fake news,” guiding us to Breitbart and Fox News, only calling on conservative outlets for questions
7. Obsession with National Security – This is Trump’s #1 priority right now
8. Religion and Government are Intertwined – Fortunately we haven’t gone too far down this path, but his preference for Christian refugees all over any others is troubling and telling
9. Corporate Power is Protected – Trump is using his presidency for his own personal gain, deregulation was one of his first executive orders, and he’s looking for breaks so his friends can get loans
10. Labor Power is Suppressed – Trump is unlikely to back any laws that support any kind of minimum wage increase, that is just the beginning of undermining the labor force
11. Disdain for Intellectuals and the Arts – Trump has attacked Meryl Streep after her unflattering awards speech, he references the “elites” as though he isn’t one
12. Obsession with Crime and Punishment – Trump has repeated stated that he doesn’t believe we have enough laws regarding drugs, to protect police and has called for law enforcement departments nationwide to re-evaluate, and for legislatures to revise their laws to protect police. Law enforcements agencies have said there is no need for this.
13. Rampant Cronyism and Corruption – Most of Trump’s political appointments have been donors, he wants to revamp regulations on lending institutions so his friends can get loans, and well, RUSSIA and Rex Tillerson
14. Fraudulent Elections – Despite winning the election, Trump has repeatedly called into question the legitimacy of the election – alleging that there was rampant voter fraud with “illegals” voting (against him, naturally). He wants an investigation into voter fraud issues. This lays the groundwork for him to ignore the 2020 results, should he even last that long.

By Umberto Eco
1. The cult of tradition – “Make America Great Again” was the rally cry for Trump. He wants to throw us back into the 1950s and his supporters are delighted to travel back in time when they didn’t feel so oppressed.
2. The rejection of modernism – Rational discourse will not be tolerated under Trump. He seeks “peace through strength”
3. The cult of action for action’s sake – This concisely summarizes Trump’s executive orders, most notably the travel ban. Without consulting relevant agencies, he issued the executive order, which they are now abandoning because of a “bad court”
4. Disagreement is treason – While he hasn’t actually stated this, he’s had staff fired for having written things in the past that were not favorable to him, fired Sally Yates for not simply doing what he told her, and generally refuses to call on medial outlets that are likely to challenge him
5. Fear of difference – Trump surrounds himself with people who look and act like him. He wants to let in Christian refugees primarily and block others from entering, wants to keep Mexicans out of the country, and can barely interact with other racial minorities
6. Appeal to social frustration – This is probably what won Trump the election. He spoke to groups who felt marginalized and rural areas turned out in record numbers to support him.
7. The obsession with a plot – Perhaps more times than he’s done anything else, he’s attacked supporters of Hillary Clinton and the media for sabotaging his election (which is why he lost the popular vote). Even now he still speaks of Hillary though the election has obviously ended. Everything is a liberal conspiracy against him.
8. The enemy is both strong and weak – ISIS is powerful, but HE can defeat them. Russia is powerful, but he is the key to our salvation.
9. Pacifism is trafficking with the enemy – “Peace through strength” (i.e. military force)
10. Contempt for the weak – This is probably best seen through Trump’s continuous struggle to identify himself as being powerful and strong, and identifying the United States as the strongest nation.
11. Everybody is educated to become a hero – It seems we have yet to see this play out, but it is still early in his presidency
12. Machismo and weaponry – I laugh at the idea of Trump as macho, but I am fairly certain that is how he sees himself, as best defined by his sexual prowess. We already know he wants to cultivate the strongest army, building it up beyond where it is even now.
13. Selective populism – Every time he is on air or tweeting, he’s talking to his core supporters – those who truly understand his message. His supporters believe he should focus only on them, not on those who disagree with them. This is counter to the Constitution and American values (at least recently)
14. Newspeak (impoverished vocabulary and elementary syntax) – Trump’s tweets certainly exemplify this point and his speeches are not far off. His speech has been compared to that of an 8th grader’s.

It is clear that we are much farther down this path than we should be. The Resistance is strong, but in order to win against fascism, we must STAY fighting. It will be long. It will be exhausting. But it IS necessary.

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Been a while…

It’s been so long since I wrote here that I actually forgot my username. I’m not sure what that says about what’s going on in my life. Now I do know that I’m overwhelmed what’s going on in the world. Between trying to have several direct sales businesses (I have a reason for having more than one – I love what they all mean to me) and what’s going on with the United States government, it’s just all too much.

One one level, I’m just overwhelmed by trying to figure out how to make what I see as two different sides of my life work together. I have my personal life, which seems small and insignificant. Then there’s the Lyndsy that’s trying to figure out how to save my country. With so much going on, I’m drowning in trying to figure out what I can do to stop the madness. I don’t know how to balance the two. I also feel weird for having personal successes and joys.

I’m so disgusted by the President. He swept into office completely unprepared. I don’t think anyone can truly be prepared to be President of the United States of America. It’s an incredible responsibility and until that responsibility is sitting squarely on your shoulders, you can’t know what it will mean. I was looking through pictures of inaugurations over the years and the outgoing presidents and first ladies all wear smiles, while the incoming presidents and first ladies look panicked and/or very reserved.

However, Trump came in with a special lack of preparation. He had no idea that he would need to fill out the staff. He wasn’t attending briefings the way you’d expect of someone who would be the Commander in Chief for one of the world’s foremost militaries. He didn’t even seem to know who he was nominating for Cabinet positions.

And oh those nominations. It was like he went looking for everyone who was the antithesis of the department. Betsy DeVos for Secretary of Education. She who champions charter schools and voucher systems, who has never worked in public education nor sent her kids through the public education system. Rick Perry for Energy – the guy who forgot the department existed when he was running for President. Jeff Sessions for Attorney General – a guy who hates all the current policies and has fought against the legislation that protects minorities and who wants to undermine it. Rex Tillerson for Secretary of State with his questionable ties to oil, Russia, and Putin.

Trump lied to the American people. A lot of us didn’t buy what he was selling. More of us voted for Hillary than for him. But enough people in the right states listened to what he had to say. They bought the message of hope he conveyed. They believed him when he said he was going to return the country to the American people. That he would “drain the swamp.” That Wall Street wouldn’t run the country.

What they got was a man who’s got Goldman Sachs everywhere. He’s appointing millionaires and billionaires to posts. They’re completely out of touch with the majority of America. He almost has no problem admitting he lied to get what he wants.

Trump agenda so far seems to have been to try to push things as far as he possibly can to see what he can get away with. His executive order was challenged almost as soon as he issued it. It was done without consulting the appropriate agencies to make sure it made sense, that it was rational and logical. He’s throwing a fit because a judge (let alone 27) would dare defy him.

He fired Sally Yates, the Acting Attorney General, for doing her job, because he didn’t like what she had to say. That’s completely inappropriate. The last time that happened it was Nixon trying to cover up Watergate. That’s pretty clearly an issue.

He’s tweeting about how Nordstrom is treating his daughter Ivanka so unfairly. As President, that’s completely inappropriate. He shouldn’t be using the position as a bully pulpit to make money for his daughter. He still hasn’t separated himself from his business interests and conflicts abound. The military wanting to rent space in Trump Tower is ludicrous.

And yet, I still sit here, at a total loss for what I can possibly due to help. There are so many problems I don’t even know where to begin. It makes me want to throw my hands up in the air and just give up. But there’s a part of me that just can’t. I went to law school because I love the Constitution and the Bill of Rights. The idea that these are in jeopardy is horrifying to me. That we didn’t learn from European history terrifies me. I’m embarrassed at how we look internationally. It’s shameful.

Doing nothing isn’t an option. We all have to do something. My hope is that a lot of small somethings will lead to something huge. Something that can’t be ignored by Trump and his administration. We don’t have a choice if we ever want to have the United States we know and love back.