Teddy bear vagina is a THING, apparently

Did you know that teddy bears had vaginas? No? Me either. But apparently we’re wrong. At least according to Sharon Green.

Ms. Green ordered a christening cake from Occasion Cakes, but was apparently disappointed to discover that they had VAGINAL CREASES.

Teddy Bear Vagina



Not only was Mrs. Green offended, but apparently the bear’s vaginal crease was the talk of the christening for which the cake had been purchased. After Mrs. Green complained, the shop tried to make it better by providing edible flowers to cover up the stomach seam, but that didn’t satisfy Mrs. Green.

These are some seriously sexually-repressed people if they’re looking at a teddy bear on a fucking christening cake and seeing VAGINAL CREASES. I wouldn’t even have noticed the crease if someone hadn’t drawn my attention to it.

I decided to investigate and see whether ALL teddy bears are a bunch of vaginal crease showing whores.

Teddy Bear 2 Teddy Bear 4 Teddy Bear 5

Oh yeah, they’re all showing off their… VAGINAL CREASES. Dirty bears.

And worse than that – check out these two. Looks like they’re working hard for the money.

Teddy Bear 6 Teddy Bear 7

I’ll never look at a teddy bear the same way again.

Quit Playin’ Games with My Heart

I’m about a week out from being married for a year. Given that my longest relationship prior to Mr. Lyndsy was 6 months, I’m a little impressed with myself. Of course, Mr. Lyndsy has made this ridiculously easy for me. But that’s almost always been how things went between us. The one hiccup we had was mostly on my end, and I got over it quickly.

I hear stories from friends now about their dating adventures and I’m just horrified. Before I met Mr. Lyndsy I’d gone through a pretty dry dating period. I had a few first dates but no second dates for a long time so I didn’t  need to worry about all the games that get played during the dating game.

I had a friend tell me recently that you can’t respond too quickly to a guy or he’ll lose interest because she’s too eager. Huh? Isn’t the point to express interest?

Another friend had a guy tell her she was too closed off and then he just disappeared for like a week. He popped back up like nothing weird had gone on. He almost couldn’t understand what her problem was. She stood her ground and made him realize his behavior was inappropriate.

Someone else told me that her girlfriend is making up shit to get attention, but has trouble admitting that she wants the attention.

It may have been the crazy distance between me and Mr. Lyndsy or it may just have been the type of people we are, but Mr. Lyndsy and I just let it all go. We were honest with each other about who we are, that we were unwilling to compromise on what we really want in life, and most importantly, we were honest about how we felt about each other. When we started talking about him coming to visit, I told him it would be nice to show my friends an actual human being and not just having to say, “I met this guy who likes me.” He corrected me and said, “A guy who really really likes you.” There was never ANY pretense.

People don’t like being vulnerable. We like feeling like we have the upper hand. We hold back and keep parts of ourselves hidden. What we don’t realize is that doing so won’t stop the pain. People get sick of that type of withholding behavior and they leave. Guessing how someone feels gets old. Trying to make someone happy when the person has no idea what will make them happy is exhausting.

The only real way to live is just to let go and give everything to someone else. Otherwise we’re headed for pain. If we hold back, then our partner never really knows us. That alone is a loss. BUT, if it goes further and we slip up and start letting ourselves leak in, our partner is likely to wonder what the fuck just happened and that will damage the relationship.

Also, if we’re holding back and believing that’s normal, why would our partner/interest do anything different? Somehow when it’s someone else doing it, it’s not okay.

To get love you have to give love. If we want someone to accept us and love us for who we are, we have to be willing to do the same. Sometimes that means that we have to make the first step. If someone responds like an asshole then let them go. They have thus proved themselves undeserving.

Yes, the risk can be great. But with great risk comes great reward. Isn’t finding the love of your life worth that?


Next 30-Day Project?

30-day Project

I have really enjoyed blogging every day. I think it’s been a great outlet for me – I’ve been writing and I’ve been able to chronicle what’s going on with my tendon transfer. On that front, things are much the same. If I’m vertical my foot gets mad. It’s happy when I lay down.

But now I need to come up with the next 30-day project. I’ve gotten some good suggestions – meditation and/or breathing exercises, sending a postcard every day (ecard style), trying a new recipe or baking something every day. The deal for July is that for a good portion of the month I will still be in this case and not able to exercise or move much.

Any thoughts or ideas? I have a friend who had a goal to draw something new every day. I like to draw, but I’m kind of shit at it. I guess practice could be good.

I could do a different kind of writing – fictional prompts maybe?

Any thoughts? Anything you guys would love to see me try to do for a month?


Withdrawing from a Friend

I never considered a difference of opinion in politics, in religion, in philosophy, as cause for withdrawing from a friend. ~Thomas Jefferson

The United States is full of divisive shit these days – white cops shooting/killing black people; racists shooting up churches, school shootings, and the start of the 2016 election season just to name a few.

In response to the posts about this stuff and the back and forth that goes on, a lot of people have posted the above quote in a call for civility or for us to understand each other. I guess the idea is that just because we have differences of opinion, that doesn’t mean we can’t like each.

Sometimes I think that’s true. I have friends who are conservatives who will always be my friend. I have friends who are of different religious bearings than I am. We will still be friends.

But sometimes it cannot be true. Sometimes you realize you don’t really know someone until they splash some hateful and/or ignorant shit all over their Facebook page. Sometimes you don’t know how illogical and stupid someone really is until you see their tweets. Sometimes it’s not until you’ve seen them engaged in a discussion thread that you see just how hypocritical they are.

Because I can tolerate a difference of opinion, especially one that is well-reasoned. What I cannot and will not ever tolerate is hypocrisy, hate, bigotry, ignorance, or a lack of attempt to understand where the other side is coming from. To me, those things are not merely differences of opinion. They are fundamental defects of character with which I have no desire to associate.

And for the life of me, I cannot understand why anyone else would want to associate with them either.

Best. Babysitter. Ever,

Mr. Lyndsy got back yesterday from his travels, which meant that my babysitter was also on her way home. I apparently did a terrible job booking her ticket and it’s like 26 hours of traveling. Oops. So sorry about that.

Babysitter is a long-time friend of mine, but I hadn’t seen her in at least 12 years. I internet stalked her for most of that time and we chatted online here and there. That isn’t the same thing as spending time with someone though.

You see the memes about how true friendship means you can go years and then just sort of pick up where you left off. It wasn’t like that exactly, but we were able to just sort of fill in the gaps and go along without much effort at all.

I have a lot of trouble being cooped up in my bed. I hate to ask for help and I didn’t want to disturb or inconvenience her. The initial days were me trying to get my own food and then realizing that wasn’t going to work. She eventually figured out that the easiest thing to do was just to make some food and bring it to me since I had trouble asking for it. We found our rhythm.

We got to have loads of smart chats about stuff too. With so much going on in the US we had plenty to talk about. I really feel like I got to work some stuff out in my head that I may one day be able to translate into something actionable to make the world a better place. Pretty bad ass if you ask me.

I need to extend thanks to her family for letting me steal her for over a week. She’s married with kids and extended family at her place. Taking mom out of that is tough.

I really needed the help this week and I can’t imagine it going better than it did!!

Babysitter Thank You

Getting Used to It

While it’s still incredibly inconvenient and annoying to wear, I’m getting more used to this giant ass cast. I’ve learned how to move it when I want to go to sleep that I can sleep on my side. The cast follows the shape of my leg and heel. This means that certain parts of it feel like ledges on the inside that my leg runs into when I move. I’ve mostly figured out how not to do that.

I didn’t really think it would be that important to keep my leg up the first two weeks of the surgery, particularly after how swollen it didn’t look when they took off the cast. But man, on the occasions when I do get up to go to the living room, my leg is pretty unhappy with me for a while. I’ve learned that if I work to bend my leg as I walk, it’s not quite as bad as if I let it hang more, but that takes a lot of work.

I still have more than a month in a cast. I was hoping that they’d make it a little lower down when they put on the new one, but the doctor is trying to cover everything down from the common peroneal nerve. I assume we’re tying to avoid all movement that might affect the tendon he just put in. Which I totally appreciate.  I want it work and not get broken ever.

I’m starting to have some weird feelings in my foot and leg. I don’t really know where they’re coming from since they don’t all seem to be associated with movement. Yesterday it was strange sensations along the bottom of my foot. The other day it was like muscle contractions down my leg.

I guess I really just need to stay in bed.

The First Amendment

Lately in the US, between the fight for marriage equality and the responses to the murders of unarmed citizens by the police and the mass murders, there seems to be some confusion about what the First Amendment means.

The text:

Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances.

So, what does this actually mean? What’s the scope?

The First Amendment to the Constitution is part of The Bill of Rights. To protect themselves from the tyranny of prior rule, the new citizens of the United States wanted to protect themselves from being forced to practice any particular religion and to have the right to practice any religion they wanted, if they so chose. They wanted to be able to speak freely about their ideas without fear of punishment. They wanted to be able to gather together and share those ideas. They wanted access to their government to correct problems.

But, there are obviously some limits on what the government can do. The first word of the Amendment tells you who is being prohibited from acting: Congress. “Congress shall make no law…” Later, the 14th Amendment made this applicable to the States and their governments.

People cite the First Amendment as their right to say things that a lot of people consider hateful. Christians use it to justify their discrimination against gay people, since it’s in the Bible that homosexuality is wrong (I don’t really see it) and they’re entitled to their religious beliefs.

A guy in Seattle was walking around with a Swastika armband. A friend posted the article and some comments popped up in defense of the guy and his right to wear the armband and that no one should be able to say anything nasty to him about it.

The First Amendment has very little to do with what individuals say to each other. The First Amendment is about the government and how it interacts with citizens.

Nothing in the First Amendment says anything about the inherent rightness of people’s statements nor about immunity from response to those protected statements. Put simply, just because you have the right to say whatever you want doesn’t mean that what you’re saying is right. If what you say is hateful, do not expect people to respond kindly. The fact that you think your statements are backed by Jesus or Allah or whoever doesn’t change that.

So, go ahead. Say whatever you want. But be prepared for the response.

An Interesting Observation 

Leading up to the surgery I had what I considered two types of pain in my foot: Pain from the way I was walking on it and random episodes of nerve pain. The walking pain started dull and throbbing but worked itself into being an intense pain. The nerve pain was sharp and shooting, but didn’t last long. 

Tonight Mr. Lyndsy asked me if I was still having the sharp and shooting pain. I do have sharp pain now, but it feels tied to the incisions or after a lot of movement. I can lay on my sides and not have the pain I used to get. Now, I’m not sure if I can’t feel it because it isn’t happening or because I’m medicated when I go to sleep at night. I suppose I’ll figure it out in a couple weeks when I don’t need the pain meds anymore. 

But, this could be a great thing. No more nerve pain!!


Had my first real whoops today. I was trying to get out of my bathroom, but the drain on the floor caught my good foot and I lost my (already shitty) balance. 

I did what came naturally and put my bad foot down. 

I didn’t leave if there long and I didn’t feel much pain (just a scraping along the back of my leg), but it reminded me of just how careful I need to be as I try to navigate my way around. 

Friend popped in for a visit which was loads of fun. Getting around still irritates me leg, so the fact that I had to get up twice to go to the bathroom while she was here was not delightful. 

The cast is definitely rubbing something the wrong way. The doctor offered that if anything felt wrong or bad or under pressure that I could come back in before my two week appointment. Depending on whether I get used to how this feels, I may take him up on that. 

I told Mr. Lyndsy about my trip to the kitchen yesterday and he was displeased. He is so worried about me anyway, and then it’s compounded by the fact that he isn’t here to hover over me himself. Poor guy. I did tell him he was stressing me out by continuing to be upset after I told him I was okay. His response, “Like you aren’t stressing the husband out when you tell me these things!” Fair enough. 

How many more weeks do I have like this??

What a Difference Sleep Can Make!

Last night was the first night I got more than a few hours of uninterrupted sleep. I’m sure it was a combination of being tired from the early morning at the doctor to the meds to deal with the pain of having been out and about. But it was amazing.

This benefit is mostly for my current outlook on life. The pain in my foot is still the same. I walkered myself to the kitchen this afternoon (yes, I didn’t wake up until 1:40pm), and my foot protested the entire time. Probably the wave of blood that flowed into it, but it wasn’t worth the trip. I felt like a lazy slug and like I should get some exercise. That feeling probably won’t overtake me in the next week or so.

They have my foot a a weird angle. For my foot, anything remotely flexed and held is weird, but even aside from that, it feels stuck out to the side. I’m not sure if this is contributing to the discomfort, but since it isn’t major discomfort, I’ll address it with the next cast.

There is a lot more room in this cast than the old one. I’m not sure that’s a great idea. I should have asked them if I could put lotion on my leg before they put this cast on, but I didn’t think about it. Now I am suffering from the itchies. If I focus on something else I don’t notice.  I read that I can try a hair dryer on the cool air setting. I am definitely considering giving it a try.

I posted about what my leg hair would look like after weeks of not shaving because my leg was in the cast. What I apparently didn’t think about was shaving the leg that isn’t in the cast. Getting clean isn’t the easiest these days and I have not yet figured out how to get myself into a position where I can easily shave my leg. I can think of lots of ways to try, but they may result in me ending up on the floor after hitting several things on the way down.

It’s getting pretty hairy up in this piece:




I put the BEAST in sexy beast.