Unknown Lands

Holy crap, y’all! I am going to Brazil! I even have the visa that shows they’re going to let me in! It was pretty easy to get since I’m married to one of their people, but that’s probably also because they don’t know me yet. We’ll see what happens in 10 years when I need to renew that bad boy.

I am totally excited but I am also nervous as hell. It’s going to be fantastic to go somewhere new that I’m not sure I really ever thought I would go. I’m not a world traveler by any means. Prior to moving to the Middle East, my out-of-country experiences included Canada (which totally doesn’t count since I didn’t need a passport to get in) and Ireland (stopping in London only to change planes). Getting to add a new country and continent is pretty exciting shit. And we’re going to be there for almost a month so even though I’ll be working while I’m there, I should get to see some stuff on nights and weekends.

The nervous part comes in that I’m going to be meeting a bunch of Mr. Lyndsy’s family. I have no idea whether he was nervous meeting my crazy family. I can’t remember how much I warned him ahead of time and I really had no idea who he would see other than my mom and dad. My dad was pretty chill (he wants grandkids like yesterday) but my mom tried to talk him out of marrying me. (See how well that didn’t work, Mom?)

I’m sure they’re really nice people. His parents have been nothing but sweet toward me and after his godmother warned me I better be good to him, she got pretty sweet too. I’m not sure if it’s because he lives so far away or if he’s just among the favorites in the family, but they are dying to see him. And me too since he married me.

The other issue is that there’s a bit of a language barrier – most of the speak Portuguese, exclusively. His dad speaks English fluently and his mom and I have managed to put together some sentences. I have been working on and off to learn Portuguese, but that’s gone super poorly and now I’m down to 3 (THREE) weeks to get something going with that.

I will be honest with you, it’s entirely my fault. Mr. Lyndsy obviously speaks it fluently. However, I hate sounding stupid, so I haven’t let him teach me anything. I try to eavesdrop when he talks to his parents on the phone, but it’s like trying to me when I’ve had too much Coke. (The drink, not the nose candy.)

It would be one thing if it were Spanish. I took loads of that and can still understand quite a bit of it. Formulating sentences is beyond me, but I could probably fudge my way through it. No so with Portuguese.

For starters, it’s not as much like Spanish as you’d think it is. The sentence structure is similar (but see above re: not being able to formulate sentences in Spanish) but the pronunciation is completely not what you expect it’ll be. Not to mention that apparently all of the programs I’ve used are by people who are from Sao Paulo which is NOT okay since I’ll be with people from Rio de Janeiro. It’s a whole big THING.

I even had Mr. Lyndsy try one of the apps I downloaded. It’s supposed to help with pronunciation. It gave him a 67%. Apparently the app was from Sao Paulo too.

I’m just going to have to bite the bullet and get Mr. Lyndsy to teach me. After all, we hope to have kids one day and they will need to be bilingual as well. Since they’ll be getting English in school, we’ll have to speak to them in Portuguese at home. He frowned at me when I suggested I could just learn Portuguese with the kids.

I know I’m being ridiculous, I promise I do. But, well… ugh.

I can do this, right??

Happy Anniversary to Mr. and Mrs. Impossible!

Wedding Wear

Mr. and Mrs. Impossible have made it a year! I had those shirts made for us because we wanted to get married in comfortable clothing, but I thought they should be at least a little personalized. The idea came to me because Mr. Lyndsy frequently had /has to ask me to quit being impossible. Things like falling in the shower because I tried to turn off the water with my foot, tripping over things when I wasn’t being careful, not following up with doctors. It all made him crazy. At the same time, he’s pretty stubborn himself.

Now that we’ve been married a year, I feel like those shirts carry another meaning. We have done what many considered impossible. We met online, fell in love, met each other in person, planned a life from 8,000 miles apart, got married, started living together after only spending 24 or 25 days together in person, and are still happily married a year in.

The day we got married someone toasted us and said that when he heard Mr. Lyndsy and I were getting married he had some concerns. We’d met online. How well did we really know each other? He emphasized that everyone knows how hard marriage is. He said he hoped that our relationship would still work out now that we would be around each other every day.

No one makes me feel better when I’m down. Some days I cry for no apparent reason and he just holds me until I’m okay. Before the surgery he rubbed my foot to try to ease the pain. Since the surgery he’s had to wait on me all the time. All of it he does with a smile. He just wants me to be healthy and happy.

And it’s not one-sided. I make him cookies because he’s pretty much the Cookie Monster. I love to watch him play football. I love going with him to football games. I will don a black and red jersey this summer and cheer on his favorite Brazilian team.

He loves me even though I’m physically and emotionally broken. 

I’ve heard over and over that marriage is hard work, that it will get harder as we add kids. But I know that no matter what happens, we will always have each other’s backs. We freely share our love for each other. We strive every day to help the other become the best we can be.

Because of our relationship and his love for me, I feel like I can take on the world, accomplish the things I really want to accomplish, and be the best version of myself. He’s told me that I do the same for him.

What more can you ask for from your life partner?

My wish for everyone who reads this is that you have your own Mr. Lyndsy or find him soon.

Just Married Selfie

Care Bear Stare

30-day Project

This month is a two-fer in terms of projects. I wanted to do something spiritual in addition to butchering haiku. What I learned today is that I’m basically doing a Care Bear Stare.

I’m sure some of you have no idea what  Care Bear Stare is. The Care Bears were a TV show in the 1980s about a  group of bears who live in the clouds and help people out. Each bear has a different positive symbol on its tummy (except Grumpy Bear who has a raincloud) that characterizes his/her personality.

My favorite was always Cheer Bear. For my 5th birthday my dad gave me a stuffed Cheer Bear and I *still* have him. He used to be pink, but years of travel have made him slightly more gray than pink.

IMG_0555

The Cheer Bears overcome whatever evil is plaguing them by doing a Care Bear Stare. They all line up and project their happy and positive symbols into a rainbow. BAM! Evil defeated.

IMG_0554

So today, while I was sitting in bed, legs sort of crossed (damn cast), I was projecting love, light, and positivity to my friend. She’s been going through some rough shit lately and I wanted to see if I could help in some way. I was basically visualizing a rainbow of those emotions going to her. It hit me that I was doing a Care Bear Stare. I also visualized weights being lifted off her shoulders and her walking on clouds now that so much has been taken off her.

Before actually doing this today, I was concerned that I wouldn’t be able to get through five minutes of this. When I try to meditate, my mind wanders and try as I might, I cannot reel it back in when I’m counting breaths or trying to focus on a word.

But when I actually started doing it and visualizing my friend being lifted the time flew by. I was shocked when my timer went off.

Even more than that, *I* felt lighter and lifted. Prior to this exercise I was feeling a bit down and sort of dumpy. Not after I was done. I do love giving and I very much believe that in order to receive you must give, but I had no idea it would have the impact on me that it did.

I even drew a picture of my visualization that I will share with my friend. I’m not much of an artist, so it looks nothing like her, but I think it’ll get the point across.

The only thing that sort of sucks about this is that I have no idea if it’s really doing anything. I’ve read a lot about the power of thought and the power of prayer. I *hope* that all of it’s true and that I am making a difference.

Haiku for you: Creative Ice Cream Flavors Day

Haiku

The haiku will come, but first, some background. I had to do some research on haiku as the only thing I knew that it was three lines and a particular number of syllables (but I didn’t know how many).

There are three elements to haiku:

1. 17 syllables, in three lines, 5, 7, 5.

2. A cutting line – usually the second line. It causes a break so the third relates to the first two but stands on its own.

3. Reference to a season. Doesn’t have to specifically mention spring, summer, etc., but can be done by referencing things related to the season (i.e. heat, cold, leaves).

To give myself some topics, I found a calendar of July days.

The reality is that I am not a haiku master, but it’s a fun little exercise. Mine won’t follow all the rules (except the first – 17 syllables in 5, 7, 5), so don’t judge me for it. And without further ado, I present to you my first haiku:

So hot is the day
But which flavor shall I choose?
Strawberry and cheese

Almost halfway, sort of

I went back to the doctor today for a follow-up. I’ve only ever had one cast before this one and if I remember correctly, I sawed it off myself. I know intellectually that the saw isn’t going to cut me, but in reality, getting a cast taken off is fucking horrifying.

IMG_0532 IMG_0534 IMG_0538

 

It really freaked me out when they went over the place where I have stitches on the inside of my foot. I still get weird tingles and vibrations there and it’s sensitive when things touch it.

I didn’t get any pictures of the wounds this time, but the doctor said they’re healing well. They don’t need to take out the stitches by hand because they are apparently the kind that dissolve. The doctor said they don’t want to do anything that might mess up the tendon transfer. Seems smart to me.

The new cast is less colorful (which makes it better for drawing) but it’s also shorter and tighter. Both of these things make me happy.

IMG_0544

 I have another 3 weeks in a cast. The doctor wants to make sure that I get 6 full weeks without ANY plantar flexion to make sure the tendon has a chance to attach. After this, I move into this monster boot.

IMG_0549

Not the greatest picture, but you get the idea. It’s basically as tall as the current cast is. The cool thing about this is that you can set it so you only get so much flexion. The doctor also said that for another 6 weeks, he doesn’t want any extreme plantar flexion. He’s nervous about this transfer because I don’t really have any tendons left to transfer if something happens to the ones he just did. I would then be looking at craptastic bracing forever or an ankle fusion. NO THANK YOU. So I will be careful and do what he says. He wants a little movement once I’m in the boot but nothing crazy.

I have another follow-up in 2 weeks to the see doctor who performed the surgery before he goes on leave. The next week I see another doctor to get the cast off, get it looked at, and get myself into the boot.

I do not think I will be able to describe in words how happy I will be when I am able to put my damn foot on the ground again. It’s hard to stomp your feet and pitch a fit when you can’t let your foot bear any weight.

A Good Month

I talked briefly about this yesterday, but this has been a really good month for me. I’ve been on a different sleeping schedule to go with my new job – I don’t get up until the afternoon and I’m up until 3am or 4am. I’ve always been more of a night owl, so this feels more natural to me than waking up in the morning.

I think the other thing that’s really helped is writing every day. Forced creativity apparently agrees with me. It was an easy way to give everyone a status update on my health after the surgery, which was a total bonus.

It’s been my thought for a while that if I wasn’t blogging it meant that something was wrong. It never occurred to me that I could sort of force myself out of a funk by making myself write. I’m not entirely sure if that’s what really happened this month, but I feel like that could be right.

The other thing that may have contributed is that I finally feel like I’m on a path to really doing something about the foot drop. I’ve had less pain this month, even after the surgery, because I haven’t been able to walk on it. Pain with walking is really frustrating and energy-zapping. I hope that the pain stays away when I’m back to walking on both feet.

I’m not sure what’s made the difference this month – whether it was the writing or the health or the sleeping or all three, but it’s been really excellent. Thanks to everyone who has commented or liked the blog posts. It helps keep me going!

30-Day Project: July – Positively Filled with Haiku

30-day Project

I can’t believe it’s almost July already! That means it’s time for another 30-day project! When I came up with the idea to do this, I wasn’t sure I would really keep up with it. I am not always great about finishing things I start, but I figured if it was just 30 days, I could probably handle it.

Tracking my food and water in May was great – I learned that I really do not ever drink enough water. We usually have plenty of water around, so I don’t have an excuse not to do it. Water isn’t my favorite beverage, but it is the one that never upsets my stomachs and always makes me feel better. My lips are in such bad shape right now that they’re cracked and painful. I really do have to track it on my app to make sure I’m getting enough.

I have really loved blogging this month. I don’t know if that’s what’s made me feel so much better lately or if it’s finally having the tendon transfer so I can start making progress (or maybe a combo of the two), but I’m happier than I have been in a while. So, excellent.

In July I’m going for a two-fer and I hope it doesn’t sink me. Someone suggested a haiku a day and I thought it sounded like fun. I looked up a calendar of fun/unusual days in July and I’m using it as the basis for the poetry. I don’t want to drown the blog in haiku, so those will all be posted on the Facebook page. I have started to write some of it, but none will be posted until July.

I wanted to add in something a little more meaningful that would also make me feel good, so the other half of the July 30-day project is that I will spend at least 5 minutes per day sending positive energy to someone who seems to need it. I think this will have an effect similar to me meditating but I will also get the satisfaction that comes from when I give. I’m hoping to design little ecards to go with it so people know I’ve been thinking about them.

I’m really looking forward to July!