My friend Mary, the embodiment of Courage

A friend of mine from law school recently lost her son, Patrick, just before he was 11 months old. Patrick was born with a very unique heart anatomy and after an extended hospital stay in which doctors finally realized there wasn’t anything they could do for him, Mary and her husband Phil decided to bring him home so he could live out his life in a loving environment, filled with cuddles and snuggles from them, his sister Mira, and their circle of family and friends.

They knew about Patrick’s unique anatomy before he was born. Their daughter, Mira, was also born with CHD, so they knew at least a little about what this was going to be like for him. They remained hopeful that Patrick would flourish the way Mira has, but it wasn’t to be.

Starting with their decision to use IVF to conceive, Mary has been blogging about their lives. Those of us who have chosen to have shared the highs, lows, and everything in between. Mary puts it all out there – the joys, the questions, the heartbreak, when she feels like she’s maybe not doing the right thing (though she always acts through love). Those of us who have been reading along are heartbroken for their loss. A huge community of people is in mourning right now, at a loss for how we can help. This is truly a testament to Mary and Phil, and the love they put into this universe.

To me, this choice to share so much of their lives, even when she didn’t think it made her look good, is courage at its finest. She had no way of knowing who might find her blogs or what they might say, but she wrote anyway. I know that there are people who have taken comfort in what she’s written, who have found peace in their own lives.

If you want to read about their journey, go to Fixing Patrick’s Heart. You can find the link to her past blog there as well, and get in on this from the beginning. There are some really adorable pictures of Mira, Patrick, Phil and Mary on those pages. Those children will just light up your life.

If you’ve read this far, I would ask that you take just 30 seconds to send loving thoughts their way. They need all the love and support this world can give them right now. Also, take a minute to hug someone you love.

Mary, you will forever be a complete and total rock star to me. I’m sending so much love your way.


  1. Beautifully written. I agree that Mary and Phil and Mira are an inspiration to all that know them. Thanks for your sharing. (Mary’s mother)

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