Interconnectedness changes who we are

I had this bizarre dream last night that involved someone who created a new bee technology – bees that seemed real, but weren’t. The point was that we could supplement the bee population without risking that they would somehow be killed by pollution or pesticides.

The bees came in contact with humans though and changed. They no longer responded to commands. Even if the interactions were brief, the bee was changed with no going back to the old ways. But as this was happening, the people in the dream were connecting too, and most of the time the connections were brief.

But when I woke up, the idea stuck with me that no matter how small the connection, we are forever changed. Interconnectedness changes who we are.

When we interact with someone else, we’re sending energy to them. The simple act of focusing on them sends energy. Much more is exchanged when we’re having intentional conversations. The more intimate or heated the exchange, the more energy is sent.

 

Most of us only think in terms of the effect that our energy had on someone else or the effect of someone else’s energy on us. We rarely stop to think about what we’re doing to ourselves by interacting with other people in the ways we do.

When we seek to “beat” someone else in an exchange, we are actually diminishing ourselves. When our goal is to make someone else feel bad, we hurt ourselves. When we express superiority over someone else, we are actually just showing our fears that we are inferior.

In order to make someone else feel low, we have to generate that sensation in our own bodies first. There isn’t any way to pass along that feeling without first creating it. Before the other person feels bad, we do. We may not notice it in our rage, desperation, etc. But once the exchange is over, that energy will still be in our system.

The irony is that the person to whom we send the negative energy is able to recover before we do. At some point they will be able to recognize that the negative energy and feelings were not their own, but rather ours. While there may be a temporary setback in their energy, they can shake it off. We, however, are stuck with it, especially if we don’t take ownership for it.

This leads to a downward spiral. Because we’re walking around with negative energy still, more and more of our interactions are clouded in it. Eventually, we will be both giving and receiving negative energy. People don’t enjoy being on the receiving end of negativity and will repel our advances in order to ward off the junk coming their way. Before you know it, we’re nothing but piles of bad feelings, without understanding how it happened.

I don’t know about you, but I have no desire to be a mass of unhappiness, rage, or sadness. The only way I can stop that from happening is to take ownership of my energy and control how it emerges from me when I interact with others.

It’s easier said than done in this day and age. There is negativity all around us. We cannot escape it.

We can, however, change it.

To do that, we have to consciously interact with everyone we encounter in a positive way. It is not always easy. We have to first learn to address our fears, because fear is often the motivator for being unkind to another. Fears that we are inferior (no one is inferior to anyone else), fears that can’t be ourselves (no one has the right to judge who you are), fear that we can’t have enough (there’s plenty of everyone), fear of the different (we’re all more alike than we are different), etc.

Once we have control over our fears, being more positive is much easier. Positive interactions are synergistic. We walk away from those interactions feeling happier and healthier than we could if we were generating positive energy independently.

It takes work at first. It’s easy to get trapped in the fear and negativity because they’re familiar and we’ve spent years listening to others put us down and make us believe it’s true. Understand that those people were speaking from their chairs of fear.

Reject that. Whether we believe it or not, the world is basically a pool we’re all swimming in. You may think we have separate pools for different people or want that to be the case, but that’s just not accurate. When someone is being nasty, hateful, or acting on fear, it’s basically like taking a dump in the pool. It may have felt good to take that shit, but after the fact, there is shit in the pool. And that person is probably not the only person taking a dump. Eventually we’re all swimming in shit. I don’t know about you, but I would rather not be surrounded by feces 24/7.

Instead, we need to focus on dealing with our own fears away from everyone else (get out of the pool to take that dump) and then return to the pool when we can be a more positive influence.

Once we start giving off positive energy (because we’ve reduced our fears), more will be returned to us. Then the happy interactions are easier to create and we sustain the positivity for longer amounts of time. At some point, that becomes our usual state of being. When that is everyone’s resting state, the world will be a better place.

“If we could change ourselves, the tendencies in the world would also change. As a man changes his own nature, so does the attitude of the world change towards him. … We need not wait to see what others do.” ~Gandhi