I need a break

The news over the last two weeks has been horrifying and depressing.

My health is making me crazy. The fatigue is awful no matter what I do. I want better sleep. I want less pain.

My patience is waning for everything.

I’m tired.

So I’m taking a break. From August 27-September 2 I’m unplugging. A friend and I are locking ourselves away at an AirBnB in the middle of nowhere. We’re going to spend time reflecting on our lives, chilling in nature, and figuring out what comes next for us.

I cannot tell you how much I’m looking forward to this. I think it’s going to make my soul happy.

I’ll miss you all but I think things will be better after this break.

Unless the United States stops existing while I’m gone. Try to keep everything together, please.

Transformers: The Last Knight: A review

 

I’ll be honest, I’m not really a fan of this series of movies. I was okay with the first one, but they lost me with the second one. I was shocked to see that there were any others.

However, Mr. Lyndsy enjoys them so I said I would go. Ugh.

1. The story was more interesting than I thought it would be.

2. Does Michael Bay have something against casting women who aren’t basically models? Men are going to go see this movie anyway, it’s unnecessary.

3. I’m guessing the length of the movie is directly proportional to the size of Michael Bay’s ego and inversely propositional to the size of his penis.

4. They left open the possibility that there would be another film. My guess is that as long as this one makes money, we’re stuck with it.

5. I’m not sure which movie did it, but at some point this series became about making money rather than producing something for quality.

I hope to avoid the next one and will probably do what I can to skip seeing it. I may not have to do too much to avoid it. Mr. Lyndsy wasn’t particularly enthralled with this one. Fingers crossed.

2015 Recap

Another year, another recap. This time before the ball drops!

1. What did you do in 2015 that you’d never done before?

I went to The Netherlands. It was a blast! I’d never been anywhere that public transit works so well and is so ingrained in the culture. The number of people on bikes and the fact that bikes had their own traffic signals was amazing.

2. Did you keep your new year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year?

 

LOL, apparently I didn’t make any resolutions last year and that trend will stay strong for next year. I failed at the 2015 Reading Challenge. I just didn’t get the books in the categories, though I read over 100 books. I found I just wanted to read what I wanted to read, not according to some list.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?

No, but I found out someone in the family is pregnant. That’s super cool.

4. Did anyone close to you die?

My godmother’s husband died from a heart attack.

5. What countries did you visit?

Brazil and The Netherlands!

6. What would you like to have in 2016 that you lacked in 2015?

More energy. Less pain. I have no idea how those will happen, but I would like to get it figured out. I plan on going to Ireland in July. I’d like to be able to walk around more easily. Or, fine, really medicated.

7. What dates from 2015 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?

 

June 11 – Foot surgery. The surgery itself was fine. The recovery not so much.

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?

Like last year I don’t really think I had one. I think making it through the year without losing it completely may count as an achievement. So much did not go as anticipated.

9. What was your biggest failure?

Maintaining expectations about…anything. I was consistently disappointed and it was my own fault.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?

This question is just sort of comical. I haven’t had a pain-free day since January 28, 2014. I am perpetually sick. I have pain every day. The better question for me may be when I didn’t suffer illness or injury.

11. What was the best thing you bought?

I love my iPhone 6. But I think all the cross-stitch stuff is pretty cool. It’s keeping me occupied and giving me a creative outlet.

12. Whose behavior merited celebration?

Mr. Lyndsy still ranks in here. Being married to me cannot be easy with how often I’m sick and in pain. I think some of my friends have also done a great job being supportive of me while I’m trying to figure out how to live like this.

Some of my friends have also gone through a lot of shit this year and are still standing. That definitely deserves to be celebrated.

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?

Keeping this from last year, “Also, what the hell is wrong with people? All over the internet I saw people who just have no respect or regard for their fellow human beings.”

14. Where did most of your money go?

Fucking student loans. Again.

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?

Going to Brazil and meeting Mr. Lyndsy’s family, finally having foot surgery, and going to The Netherlands.

16. What song will always remind you of 2015?

Cookie Jar by Gym Class Heroes. That shit is hilarious.

17. Compared to this time last year, are you:

  • happier or sadder? Sadder
  • thinner or fatter?  I feel fatter. Fuck it.
  • richer or poorer? Richer in life, poorer in money.

18. What do you wish you’d done more of?

Listening to my body. Also, I wish I’d saved money better.

19. What do you wish you’d done less of?

I wish I’d spent less money. I wish I’d gone to doctors more to get things sorted out. Not that that seems to work that well for me, but at least I’d feel like I tried.

20. How did you spend Christmas?

Seeing Star Wars: The Force Awakens.

21. Did you fall in love in 2015?

Yes, with our crazy and ridiculous dog.

22. What was your favorite TV program?

Criminal Minds, probably. Did binge watch How to Get Away with Murder. That shit is messed up.

23. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year?

Not anyone specific.

24. What was the best book you read?

Me Before You. Holy shit. I cried so much, but it was such a beautiful book. I’m excited to read the sequel.

25. What was your greatest musical discovery?

Taylor Swift.

26. What did you want and get?

The stupid iPhone 6. I also got my mom and godmother on iPhones so now messaging and communicating with them is easier.

27. What did you want and not get?

A pink iPhone 6s. I don’t really need it, but it’s so pretty.

28. What was your favorite film of this year?

Inside Out, probably. I love Disney/Pixar movies. It made me cry. Damn them.

29. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?

Dinner with friends at a Brazilian restaurant. So much meat. I’m the decrepit age of 34!

30. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?

Having someone magically pay my loans off.

31. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2014?

Quoting 2014: Lazy and comfortable because that’s how I roll. Most days now I don’t get out of my pajamas. Working from home has its benefits.

32. What kept you sane?

Cross-stitch, internet communications with friends, a couple trips to the US for things I miss, and Mr. Lyndsy.

33. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?

STILL Benedict Cumberbatch. That man. Hot damn.

34. What political issue stirred you the most?

Still the killings of unarmed black men by cops, continued idiocy over vaccinations.

35. Who did you miss?

My friends. All of them.

36. Who was the best new person you met?

This cat-loving crazy woman. Sadly, she wasn’t here long. Now I have to find a NEW cat-loving crazy woman.

37. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2015.

Let go of expectation. Things will be what they’ll be. Just ride the tide.

38. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year.

“What do I have to do??”

Best. Babysitter. Ever,

Mr. Lyndsy got back yesterday from his travels, which meant that my babysitter was also on her way home. I apparently did a terrible job booking her ticket and it’s like 26 hours of traveling. Oops. So sorry about that.

Babysitter is a long-time friend of mine, but I hadn’t seen her in at least 12 years. I internet stalked her for most of that time and we chatted online here and there. That isn’t the same thing as spending time with someone though.

You see the memes about how true friendship means you can go years and then just sort of pick up where you left off. It wasn’t like that exactly, but we were able to just sort of fill in the gaps and go along without much effort at all.

I have a lot of trouble being cooped up in my bed. I hate to ask for help and I didn’t want to disturb or inconvenience her. The initial days were me trying to get my own food and then realizing that wasn’t going to work. She eventually figured out that the easiest thing to do was just to make some food and bring it to me since I had trouble asking for it. We found our rhythm.

We got to have loads of smart chats about stuff too. With so much going on in the US we had plenty to talk about. I really feel like I got to work some stuff out in my head that I may one day be able to translate into something actionable to make the world a better place. Pretty bad ass if you ask me.

I need to extend thanks to her family for letting me steal her for over a week. She’s married with kids and extended family at her place. Taking mom out of that is tough.

I really needed the help this week and I can’t imagine it going better than it did!!

Babysitter Thank You

Surgery Day! (Part III)

 
It took over an hour and a half after they got me before I ended up in the OR, so the surgery started about 3pm. Once I got the night night drugs it took about a minute before I was out. 

I woke up in the recovery room around 6:30 in a good deal of pain. My whole right leg hurt, yet felt numb at the same time. My right leg being numb freaked me out a lot since that’s how I woke up from the spinal fusion and we all know where that led. I did eventually remember hearing the surgeon ask the anesthesiologist if he wanted to wait to do something to me leg until after the general anesthesia. I’m pretty sure it was about numbing my right leg for the procedure. That made me feel a lot better.  I always forget how disorienting it is to wake up after general anesthesia. 

That didn’t really wear off until about 10pm after I got a bit of a nap. Mr. Lyndsy hung out with me for a couple of hours before I gave him my cell phone and asked him to charge it in the car. He got a bite to eat and came back. 

That was about the same time I learned that I would *not* be going home tonight, which really upset me. I do not enjoy spending the night in the hospital because you really don’t get any rest. Also, because of the cast, they aren’t letting me out of bed until someone trains me on crutches, which won’t happen until tomorrow. So bedpans it is. I HATE using bedpans. I hate the feeling of peeing myself. 

They even mentioned that I may have to stay another night. It all depends on whether they feel like I can get around on my own. Thankfully I’ve been practicing with the crutches, so I’m hopeful I will go home tomorrow. I’m in a shared room and the woman next to me has loads of things that make tons of noises. I just got a shot or morphine so I’m aiming to get to sleep quickly. 

Thank you to everyone who has been sending positive thoughts my way. I do feel like they make a difference!

Surgery Day! (Part I)

i never remember things on the days I have surgery, so I’m going to try to write about the day as I go. 

I didn’t sleep at all last night. I didn’t get released from the hospital until almost 11pm. Once we finally got home I had stuff to pick up, dishes to wash, a puzzle to finish, and to take a shower with the hospital soap. 

I guess I was too keyed up to sleep, so it didn’t happen. Mr. Lyndsy was exhausted but it even took him a while to fall asleep. 

We got back to the hospital just after 5am. They still don’t have any idea when I’ll be going in, and they told me that they only know 15 minutes before I go in. 

I am trying to figure out whether I should try to sleep now or stay awake in the hope that I am the first surgery. 

I had also forgotten how much I hate these:

 
I wonder if this one  will leave a scar too. 

I have a bed!

Today is my lucky day. Somehow something went wrong with the paperwork I submitted to the hospital and it didn’t get where it needed to go. 

I only discovered this because I brought myself to the hospital because no one was picking up the phone. I think the doctor who does bed management felt bad for me because I looked like I was going to cry. 

The important thing is that I have a bed. 

2

30-Day Project: May – Food/Water Tracking

30-day Project

And so it begins. I was thinking about giving up soda for the month of May, but I’m not quite ready to do that yet. I suppose that means that giving up soda is exactly what I should be doing, but I’d rather not fail right from the beginning.

I’ve been paying for a Weight Watchers subscription for months now, but I haven’t been using it. I’d gotten a great deal on 3 months so I wasn’t thinking much about it, but when my card got dinged for this month, I figured I might as well use it. I gained a bit of weight while visiting in Florida for most of April. I don’t regret any of it, but clothes that had been loose are now tight, my wedding band no longer fits, and I feel a bit like a bowling ball.

I’ve had success with Weight Watchers in the past, but I also got a little carried away too. I didn’t eat the extra points, started not eating all the points they give me, and that isn’t how they want the program to work. They step you down for a reason – to make it more lasting. At any rate, I’m going back to tracking because even if I eat over my points, at least I’m a bit more conscious about what’s going into my piehole. (Which, ironically, probably won’t be a lot of pie…)

I’m also going to use Waterlogged to track my water consumption. I know with great certainty that I don’t drink enough water, especially on days when I have a soda. My lips and feet are dry and cracked. I’ve read enough to know that if I want to fix those things, I’ve got to do it from the inside out.

Thirty-one days of tracking all of this is already making me twitchy. But, if it were easy, it wouldn’t be a 30-day Project topic. The question now is whether I can get Mr. Lyndsy to join in with me…