Learn where your oven vents on your stove before you burn your hand on the cookie sheet you left on top of the stove.
If you don’t want to be awake until 4 o’clock in the morning, don’t get up at 3 o’clock in the afternoon.
Despite the similar appearance of their containers, Pledge Multi-Surface cleaner and Febreze spray do not serve the same function.
Farting in the shower is not a substitute for aromatherapy.
*These Pearls of Wisdom are brought to you by my own experience. They generally don’t have anything to do with wisdom at all.